Sometimes i sit and reflect on the insults and wrongs people have done to me and my family over the years and acknowledge that, yeah, that was really really bad. you are so friggin mean! But do you know its not long into my reflection that i see all the buts - yes, they say, i wronged you but you wronged me too. yeah....i really get that now. didnt at the time but you are absolutely right.
But you wronged me before that even, by doing xyz, you are SOOOO mean, i say - yes, they say, i wronged you before that, but you wronged me too. remember when you did abc? that was REALLY mean. yeah...i get that now. didnt at the time, but you are absolutely right.
So this banter goes on and on and things become more and more complicated, and your children become involved, and their children and your mother and their mother and your great great great grandfather twice removed on your mother's half-brother's side...get the picture?
In the end - holy crap we have made a mess of things and 39 years down the track things still surface from all the days of my life, and yours too no doubt. its even more humorous when you have insulted someone without even realising it - or they you. i think i have insulted so many people by not fighting back, for example. there is nothing that annoys me more now than a person who will not fight back! friggin weirdos.
i cant be bothered with correcting the past, or wanting karma to take care of things. yeah we now have vulnerabilities, or we have suffered, or...whatever! just wipe the slate clean and get on with things. half the time we dont know what we are doing, the other half we are puppets to our experience anyway.
One thing i do want to say, though, is there have been some people who have touched me in a different way - but i dont think they realised that i was authentic. you know, when people are so accustomed to others treating them in a certain way, that when someone comes along and sees something in them that others dont - they get scared or something. or think that they are being pitied, or that im blind. i dont know - i read people's souls not their minds... ha ha just kiddin.
to these people in my life, i really did think you were beautiful, some of you. i really did want to get to know you, some of you. i really did want to hear what you had to say, some of you - but usually it came back to bite me in the bum.
i dont pity you, i dont think if only people could see what i see, i didnt expect favours for being your friend - what i now think is that you are a bunch of fuckwits! you cant see whats right in front of you! no, i am not a lesser person just because i want to get to know you when nobody else does. because i care less about your bad behaviour, your blue hair, your orange skin and the fact that your mother is ugly than i did about wanting to hear what you had to say about life.
Pfft! Talk about having tickets on yourselves. at the end of the day you had interesting features but still liked to judge those who were different to you - the poor souls born with beautiful skin, amazing eyes and hair to die for. you know you really need to start fighting your own prejudices...
the 'have nots' judge the 'haves' just as much as the 'haves' judge the 'have nots'. heck, i dont even know where i fit in anymore - so i'll just stick with judging the judging.
ILY xxx
But you wronged me before that even, by doing xyz, you are SOOOO mean, i say - yes, they say, i wronged you before that, but you wronged me too. remember when you did abc? that was REALLY mean. yeah...i get that now. didnt at the time, but you are absolutely right.
So this banter goes on and on and things become more and more complicated, and your children become involved, and their children and your mother and their mother and your great great great grandfather twice removed on your mother's half-brother's side...get the picture?
In the end - holy crap we have made a mess of things and 39 years down the track things still surface from all the days of my life, and yours too no doubt. its even more humorous when you have insulted someone without even realising it - or they you. i think i have insulted so many people by not fighting back, for example. there is nothing that annoys me more now than a person who will not fight back! friggin weirdos.
i cant be bothered with correcting the past, or wanting karma to take care of things. yeah we now have vulnerabilities, or we have suffered, or...whatever! just wipe the slate clean and get on with things. half the time we dont know what we are doing, the other half we are puppets to our experience anyway.
One thing i do want to say, though, is there have been some people who have touched me in a different way - but i dont think they realised that i was authentic. you know, when people are so accustomed to others treating them in a certain way, that when someone comes along and sees something in them that others dont - they get scared or something. or think that they are being pitied, or that im blind. i dont know - i read people's souls not their minds... ha ha just kiddin.
to these people in my life, i really did think you were beautiful, some of you. i really did want to get to know you, some of you. i really did want to hear what you had to say, some of you - but usually it came back to bite me in the bum.
i dont pity you, i dont think if only people could see what i see, i didnt expect favours for being your friend - what i now think is that you are a bunch of fuckwits! you cant see whats right in front of you! no, i am not a lesser person just because i want to get to know you when nobody else does. because i care less about your bad behaviour, your blue hair, your orange skin and the fact that your mother is ugly than i did about wanting to hear what you had to say about life.
Pfft! Talk about having tickets on yourselves. at the end of the day you had interesting features but still liked to judge those who were different to you - the poor souls born with beautiful skin, amazing eyes and hair to die for. you know you really need to start fighting your own prejudices...
the 'have nots' judge the 'haves' just as much as the 'haves' judge the 'have nots'. heck, i dont even know where i fit in anymore - so i'll just stick with judging the judging.
ILY xxx
to know what judging is, is to judge
ReplyDelete