Seeing things for what they are...

i have had a number of things mulling around in my head today - so many things i want to share, but in the end i think it is important to talk about something which is greatly misunderstood, and that is "evil".

to being i must say that my faith in God has been far stronger than i have ever had faith in evil - until last year, when i stared evil in the face and became a believer of it. it is a very rare privilege to be able to do so in a lifetime, and once you have been able to do this i have to say that your life changes forever.

i drove for an hour today trying to figure out how i can describe what i saw. when we look at the effects of evil in this world, we can be forgiven that we see evil as being this almighty force, unbeatable by most standards aside from the intervention and protection of our supreme God - the two forces of good and evil using earth as their war ground. well...its kinda got a little bit of truth in it, maybe, but its mostly misguided (in my humble opinion).

so when i looked evil in the face what did i see? well, i was trying to think of something on earth that i could use to explain what it looked like - you know some kind of animal or plant. i couldnt come up with anything - so in the end i had to try to think of something which can demonstrate how i felt when i did see evil for the first time. so here goes.

imagine being told by all your friends that you are the most amazing singer - they cheer and applaud and encourage you to take it further and further. so you spend your life building your identity on how well you sing. you talk about it often, you mingle with other great musicians, you imagine your imminent fame and fortune and in the end you decide to audition for X Factor - oooo this is your big chance, how exciting. you tell all your friends and family and strangers, the owner of the local IGA, your gp, your children's friends' parents, the local bishop etc etc etc.

So the big day comes and you walk onto the grand stage with a sparkle in your eye and the utmost belief in yourself in your ability to bring the house down with your amazing voice. and you sing. you sing your heart out, you give your best performance ever!

But...when you finish you notice that the judges and trying to muffle their laughs behind their hands, and the audience is in fits of laughter. you fail to make it through to the next round, however you do manage to get on television - why, because you totally sucked and everyone is laughing about the fact that you thought you were so good when you werent - and you children sat there watching every moment of it, together with that prospective lovebody sitting right beside you.

really think about how you would feel, that is what evil is, that feeling. when you see it for what it is, that feeling of humiliation that you would feel in the above scenario is what you get- except towards it, in its pathetic form.

or try this - imagine the above scenario where the singer is not you, but someone you know who you have never heard sing, then in the privacy of your own home the X Factor audition is the first time you heard them. that feeling that its so uncomfortable and unbearable, embarrassing, that you cant bear to watch. you want to vomit, cry, turn your head away - its humiliating and burns the back of your eyeballs when you realise how pathetic this person you know is - to build their whole lives on something that wasnt true, to be sucked into the lies people had told them. to place themselves above others because of this amazing possession, which actually ended up being a truck load of the shit of a carnivore - not even good for their veggie patch.

When you see evil, that is what it feels like. You certainly dont want to hang around it and realise that it has no part in your life. you know that its nothing to fear, but unfortunately when we have seen it for what it is, we have no choice but to have to tolerate it. it was kinda easier when we saw it as a mighty force - at least it didnt make us want to vomit. but you come to realise that Jesus will not lose one soul - ever. so you have to live with it but turn your face every day it crosses your path, alienate it and dont even do it the courtesy of mocking it in its absence.

Let me say one thing - there is not doubt that earth is at war, but its not against evil. evil isnt even a weapon - its a bit like trying to use a floppy pink rubber gun to rob a bank! the war we are fighting is against ourselves and in particular our choices. we can choose ego based activity, which involves using evil to place others in high esteem for our own benefit (a lot of women do this with men to increase sexual enjoyment), or ourselves in high esteem to elevate our status amongst others (when really its only in our own minds).

To me its like when your life ends and you are standing at the golden gate, God removes the veil and shows you the truth about what your life was. so you were the chief executive officer of the largest financial institution in the world - umm, sorry to tell you this but..., says God as he lifts the veil. Like the judges assessing your singing on the X Factor. You dont actually ever know whether your success is actually real. but its your choice whether to build your "house" on the sand (according to the lies of the veil and the ego), or on the solid foundation of God's word. At the end of the day there are only two players in your life - you, and God. so whose judgment do you want to live by - those of men, who are highly unqualified for the job, or God's judgment, which will always be delivered through love.

This scenario - the X Factor, is happening every day in everybody's lives, yes your's too (and mine). a living joke you cant see. lets just love eachother anyway and try to be kind - that person curling up in humiliation could be me next week. That puddle of evil you see on the floor that makes you want to vomit - is the beginnings of something beautiful if we make it so. you give it love and the red returns to the earth, you give it kindness and the blue returns to the sky, you give it acceptance and the green returns to the grass.

Tolerance is a virtue, patience is a weapon and humiliation gets a lot easier over time.

My recommendation, for what its worth - choose love above all else.

ILY
xxx